Want Magic? Do Something!

A quick stomp to remind everyone that magic, hope and dreams only come to those who seek actively seek them!

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How Reality Challenged Are You?

Recently, I met a single mother who had no money, no means and was, unfortunately, never really taught her own worth or how to spot opportunities.  She was afraid of people because she was never really given any tools to effectively handle her interactions with them in a way that allowed her to get her needs fulfilled. 

The result: a real lack of confidence.  That lack of confidence left her, sadly, unable to even know where to begin to put her life in balance.  It’s a common and devastating occurrence that no one should have to suffer.  Still, it happens.  And when it does, different people cope in different ways.

To cope she told herself that she was chosen to inspire the world through poetry and her keen spiritual insight. Instead of cultivating the skills she needed to turn her real talents—the ones no one had ever really noticed or encouraged—into something that could provide real value for herself and her daughter, she spent her days writing poetry. Why? It was easy and she didn’t have to rely on anyone else for it.  Plus, she’d convinced herself it was the “divine” thing to do. 

She justified her ‘life’s purpose’ of writing down her feelings in a journal (a method of confession, guilt relief and, in fact, a strategy to nullify some of the very real fear and pain she was grappling with) by telling herself that she’d been called to a higher purpose of “uplifting the human soul and giving people hope.”

But in reality no one really noticed what she was doing because she had no audience.  She and her child fell further into poverty and struggle.  That drove her further inside and she spent her days writing about how alone she was.  That made people avoid her more because she brought them down. But none of that changed her view: inside, she believed this was her divine calling and that she was a raging success inspiring people to greatness.  Even when she couldn’t feed her daughter.

I’ve been watching this sort of thing happen a lot lately.  On social media and with people I meet through the day and in my coaching work.  Some people make statements that show an alarming difference between who they believe they are, how they act and what’s really going on in their lives.

Now, in the last two articles on lying I told you guys all about the primal motivations that people need to have fulfilled before they can feel success, happiness and fulfillment. If you haven’t read those articles I encourage you to read them now.  Up to this point I’ve only told you that humans need these things fulfilled if they’re ever going to feel content and satisfied; and if they can’t get them fulfilled, they lie.  But in this article I’m going to show you just how serious it can get if those motivations are not fulfilled.  It can get really crazy. 

From a mind control perspective there are several what we call “interrogation types”.  Really the ‘types’ are coping strategies.  As I mentioned above, different people cope in different ways.  There are, in fact, all people fall into one or more of these observable coping strategies.  But I guarantee you that there are a lot less of them than you might think.  People are really not as varied as they think they are.  There are actually only nine types or “strategies” that all people fall into. These strategies develop early in life along with such things as the Briggs-Meyers profile. Two of these types are responsible for the sort of discrepancies I spoke of earlier.  They are referred to in mind control circles as: “Self-Centered” and “Reality Challenged”.

Now, before we go on, ask yourself:

  • Have you ever convinced yourself and others that your life was fantastic even though it wasn’t? 
  • Or concocted some incredible story about yourself that was false just to avoid facing what was really going on?
  • Ever project your shortcomings onto someone else so that you could remain blameless and appear to have it all together even though you didn’t?
  • If your life was slipping out of control and your friends, out of concern, came to you and told you what was happening, would you believe them or dismiss them for questioning you?

 

As I outlined in the last two articles people lie for two reasons: 1. We lie when we’re hungry and we can’t get our primal motivations satisfied. 2. We lie when the fact that we can’t feed ourselves is exposed to others.  (See “What Makes You a Liar?” https://gravestomper.wordpress.com/2011/01/21/what-makes-you-a-liar/ and “Are You Lying To Yourself” https://gravestomper.wordpress.com/2011/01/25/what-makes-you-a-liar-part-2/ below.)  But some of us do it so habitually that it degenerates into complete delusion, ie the “self-centered” and “reality challenged” coping strategies. 

The reality challenged type tend to be introverted.  Not all introverts are reality challenged but the reality challenged coping strategy is introverted.  They can be thinking or feeling if you’re looking at their Briggs Meyers profile.  But somewhere in their childhood, for whatever reason, they didn’t think or feel they were significant enough in their outside world and it drove them inside to create a fantasy world where they were more relevant.   The difference between who they are in this inner world and who they are in the outer world is staggeringly different.  Even frightening.

They have a really difficult time maintaining lasting relationships because real relationships make them feel less relevant then they do in their inner fantasy world.  They’re rarely, if ever, aware that their lives are built on lies, because they have no idea that their primal motivations aren’t being met.  In fact, they wouldn’t believe that the sixteen primal motivations have been observed repeatedly for thousands of years and are used to move people all the time by those who know mind control.  To them, things like mind control is a joke, something for kooky conspiracy theorists. Impossible. 

In his world: the reality challenged individual is untouchable.  A master who defies categories.  Unique and  limitless. Even though all outward evidence proves otherwise.  Even though he is a definite and observable type.  Even though he is being moved every day by those who took the time to observe how to move him.

This type has an interesting strategy for dealing with people who question them.  Anyone who questions their fantasy is dubbed an ‘inferior’. They hate it when ‘inferiors’ question them.  The problem is, that ‘inferior’ status is based on the fantasy of who they think/feel they are. So, it sort of dissolves into a simple self-defense reflex: “if you question my greatness you must be inferior.”  And their fantasy is reinforced.

The reality challenged person usually has a “cause”, that is, whatever fantasy she’s running at the moment is the means to an end, whatever end that may be.  Usually it’s something that justifies her fantasies. 

There’s a similar set of strategies that come with those we call the ‘self-centered’ type.  These guys are also introverted too but are driven for outside approval.  They were likely bullied in their lives.  Because others didn’t accept them they went inside to feel love and comfort.  The outside is full of pain and unclean experiences for them so they avoid it and experience everything directly inside. 

They’re really sensitive to criticism and they, like the reality challenged, are also lacking the tools they need to satisfy their primal drivers.  (See “What Kind of a Liar Are You?” below.) To hide this they brag about themselves rather than taking action.   They tell everyone all of the great things they’re going to do or greatly exaggerate the value of what they have done. In the end they do very little but brag.

They are also full of fear and lacking self confidence, but these guys are constantly looking at their environment and ‘editing’ it to cast them in the best possible light.  Again they are not getting those primal motivations fulfilled and so they’re filtering their experiences internally to convince themselves they are.  The result?  They are living a  sort of zombified half-life.  Seeking approval and constantly bragging.  But inside there’s nothing but guilt and shame and fear.

If you asked either type, the reality challenged, or the self-centered if they were happy, they would concoct all sorts of stories about how successful and fulfilled they are even though their actions, their word choice, their body posture and their general state of living will always show you otherwise.

I have a friend who’s father is reality challenged. I’ve watched him ever since I was in my teens. When he was younger it wasn’t as pronounced or noticeable as it is now. When we were kids he held himself up as a successful authority, a physical therapist and effective parent.  We used to see him sit in his living room chair and drink to go inside and feed his fantasy place. 

As he’s gotten older he’s revealed to us what he really believes.  In his inner world he is an inspiration to his children.  A world class physical therapist.  He believes his wife loves him unconditionally and that his mistress would be nothing without him.  He, in fact, wanted to have a child with his mistress because he felt he was such an inspiration to the three adult children he already has.

In reality, he’s a timid man who’s afraid of social interaction.  None of his children live anywhere near him because they don’t particularly like him much. He’s so-so at his work. His wife is happy for the first time in a couple of decades because she just told him to get out of her house: she’s divorcing him.  His mistress has told him she’s really not interested in him anymore. 

My friend has really given up on him because he refuses to accept any facts.  And still,  he feels that he’s the lynch pin of everyone and every life around him; that they all admire and love him very much because he’s such a remarkable example of success. But all you have to do is shake hands with him and immediately you know from his weak grip and how his eyes look downward how much he’s ruled by fear and how much he’s settled in his life.

So, why am I telling you all of this?

First, to further emphasize how important the 16 primal motivations I referred to in the last two articles really are. If you haven’t read those articles yet you should now.

And second, to let you know that there are people out there like this.  Who will lie and deny no matter what evidence you give them that their lives just aren’t working. Who will get angry with you for questioning them.  Who will expect you to conform to their reality even though it is impossible to do so.  Because no matter how unsuccessful, angry, unfulfilled they are…dude, they’re convinced…they got it all figured out!

And whether they know it or not, they’re vulnerable to their lives and minds being hijacked by anyone who wishes to, simply because they’re not managing themselves.

Why ‘Light and Love’ Will Suck You Dry and Steal Your Soul

Yesterday I posted a tweet on Twitter and Facebook that caused quite a stir.  Some of you saw it and responded appreciatively.  Others tried to throw stones at it with weak arguments and platitudes.  In fact, I don’t know that I’ve ever gotten so much response from a tweet before.  It was: What if it’s the “dark” that’s trying to save you, and the “light” that’s keeping you powerless and immobilized?

Of those who tried to derail the concept there was a particular white-lighter who tried to take some sort of moral high ground and steal the Gravestomper’s authority for her own.  She responded to my statement by tweeting: “Life is rarely so clearly delineated. Balance must be found.”

It’s key that you pay attention here.  This is very important.  On the surface this looks benign.  Even “good” or “wise”.  After all, the New Age has been telling us for years now how we all need to be balanced.  Balance is good, isn’t it?  We all need to be in balance don’t we?  And for most of us that sounds like a great thing.  We have so much work, so much responsibility, so much fear in our lives that to balance it all with some laughter, fun, and joy would be a nice change. 

But what keeps us from having that actual balance? 

I’ll tell you.  It’s the white-light mentality. The one that tells us all paths are the same and they all lead us, in the end, to love.  The one that starts with us being “good people”.   The one which is waiting there for us to chastise us every time we have an “impure”, “wrathful” or “unbalanced” thought.  The one that  teaches us to give our personal power away to guilt and shame.  That tries to keep everyone of us in line each and every time we assert our true, active selves and our creativity.  It masks itself as liberated, free and enlightened but in actuality it is as bound, ignorant and manipulative as the religion of our parents.

That in mind, let’s take a good look our white-lighter’s statement: “Life is rarely so clearly delineated. Balance must be found.”

What does this really mean?  That word ‘Balance’ is what we, in hypnosis, call a Nominalization.  It’s a word that has no meaning but the one the listener assigns to it.  Nominalizations are building blocks of something we call ‘Guru Speak’.  It’s a hypnotic language that the few really popular Gurus, White-lighters and “Secret” folks use to get followers.  They use words and phrases that have no concrete, practical meaning to create trance states and feelings of longing and incompleteness that they then take advantage of. 

On the surface what they say sounds good because it’s usually tied to something that suggests being a “good person”.  And everyone wants to be a good person, right?  But when you start to look more closely at anything they say you begin to see that their statements are actually hollow.  The only meaning that can be derived from any of their words are those that the audience assigns to them. 

They consistently use words like Love.  Balance.  Healing.  Wholeness. Oneness.  Nature. Consciousness. Purity. Source. Godhead. None of those words really mean anything until you assign your personal experiences to them.  Then they sound terribly profound.  And whenever you ask one of these guys what any of those words actually means, they turn it around on you by saying: “What do YOU think it means? 

Why do they do that? Because they know what they are saying means nothing and if they turn it back on you, you will A) feel insecure that you don’t have the enlightened answers they do and B) you will drag an appropriate desire or wound from your life and attach it to the word, find personal meaning in it, and then beg them for more of their wisdom.  It’s a win-win situation for them

See, the reason that white-lighter chose to toss her comment about balance at me wasn’t because she wanted to open up a dialogue.  Her response had little to do with knowledge or wisdom.  It was an attempt to chastise me for taking a stand. 

My statement was clear: What if it’s the “dark” that’s trying to save you, and the “light” that’s keeping you powerless and immobilized?  The ‘light’ here means: the white-light mentality.  While ‘dark’ indicates those of us who are advocating facing fears, taking action, and wrath when necessary.  Her response was an attempt to nullify the concept I put out there because it incited a change in view.  A challenge.  A dare.  Fact is—people were excited by my statement.  They were tantalized, intrigued and even a bit titillated to think that maybe plunging into the darker parts of themselves, their thoughts and their lives could set them free from suffering. 

But white-lighters are uncomfortable with such assertions.  They are uncomfortable with people who take action.  Who challenge others.  Who encourage people to face their fears.  Who support people who get out there and go after their dreams.  Who assert anything but love and sitting immobilized on a cushion. 

Why? Because when you are immobilized on a cushion you can’t rise up against them.  When they are standing above you and your eyes are closed they own you.  When you believe that everything is supposed to be love you castrate yourself with guilt every time you want to crush one of these love-and-light manipulators to dust. And if action, self-actualization, risk and true wisdom based on direct experience are the codes that people are living by then they will have to actually learn how to do something of value.  And that is the last thing any of them want to do.  Because—and they know this—they are empty insideTheir words are empty.  Their actions are empty.  Their wealth is empty and their wisdom is empty.

So when this white-lighter saw the statement I posted was wrathful, risky and a bit frightening she tossed one of the accepted nominalizations at me in an attempt to nullify it, thereby justifying her discomfort with the concept.  “Life is rarely so clearly delineated. Balance must be found,” she said. And that way she sounded like a good person, wise and poised.  After all, who would dare disagree with that? It’s Balance after all.  Right?  Wrong.  Because there is no potency that follows a statement such as hers.  Only flaccid self-analysis.

When I refused to accept her reality she did what these white-lighters always do. And I will tell you this now, so that you can recognize it when they do it to you.  They have some common responses they use when you challenge them and begin to show that their words are meaningless, their actions reprehensible, their philosophies barbaric and insane.  They will:

1)    Say that you are twisting and skewing their words, suggesting that they possess the pure, good and objective truth and you are a Devil who is using some form of evil magic to distort that truth.   They’ll forget that they are the ones choosing their own words, but since they refuse to take responsibility for their lives they are, of course, going to blame YOU for their lack of coherency.

2)    Try to give you parental scolding when you assert yourself confidently.  When you refuse to be submissive they will suggest that you “expect people to follow you blindly without questioning your will.”  What they always fail to realize, however, is that it was really your refusal to accept their attempts to control your will that they found so distasteful to begin with.

3)    Suggest they possess the true Dharma or teachings and you just are too wicked to recognize it.

4)    Accuse you of being selfish for wanting to live a successful, active, profitable and fully actualized life.  If you were pure you would be poor and sitting on a meditation cushion emitting love for all beings. 

5)    Try to inflict guilt on you by suggesting that their lack of success comes from a bad bit of luck.  Meanwhile they try to bind you to them by teaching you that “good people” give everything they’ve got to those less fortunate.

6)    Inflict their dysfunction on you, undermine you and give you criticism aimed at shaking your self-confidence all the while talking about how “All is Love”. They will justify their shitty behavior by saying things like: “I’m opinionated.  You’re just going to have to deal with it.” Assuming that you will be bound by the code of being a “good person” who wouldn’t dare say anything unkind to another who is just expressing her free will.  But you do NOT have to deal with it.  In fact, it is your right to throw their dysfunction back on them and let them see the horrible monsters they really are.  When you do this, they will show their true colors by trying to “teach you a lesson”.  Because they are really cowards, they will enlist their friends to try and destroy you. (This particular white lighter began asking her twitter friends if they’d like to show up on my door step and teach me what Dark really meant.  She asserted that they could be the true champions of White Light when they finally destroyed me.  In the end, she dissolved into a public puddle of her own victimhood.)

7)    Tell you there is no such thing as evil in one breath, while paradoxically telling you in the next to embrace only ‘love and light’ so that they can feed, unfettered, on you and your resources.

8)    Teach you the dark is “evil” because they know in it lies the secrets that will release you from their constant control over you.

The white-lighter attempted to drive me thru guilt and shame.  The guilt and shame of forgetting to include the importance of being a “good person” in my statement. 

Why is that so powerful an attack?  Because we have all been instilled with the guilt inducing victimhood of or parents religions which taught us if we were not good we would be punished.  If we talked back to our parents we would be slapped in the mouth.  If we touched ourselves we would get sick. If we fucked who we chose to fuck when and how we chose to fuck them we would be struck down by an angry god.  If we did not go to school we would be homeless.  If we did not lash ourselves to those poor unfortunates who were victims of cruel fate and take care of them wholly we would spend an eternally frying in hell. If we did what we were talented at rather than working a job we hated like everyone else we were selfish.

The true underlying  philosophy of the white lighter can be summed up succinctly in one statement: “How come you?”

  • How come you get to be out there stomping while I’m sick and poor?
  • How come you get to be exploring your dark and exciting side when I have to be a good person?
  • How come you get to adore your work while I have to work a job I hate to make ends meet?
  • How come you get people to listen to you but no one listens to me?
  • How come you’re happy but I’m not?

 

And you know what the common, underlying theme is in all of these statements?  Entitlement.  They feel that just because they show up to the party they get to be the belle of the ball.  That everyone should flock to them, appreciate, cherish and respect them just because they are here and they tell everyone in a hundred different ways what good people they are.  Their philosophy is sick with this sort of bullshit:

  • All paths are equal.
  • Everyone is special and talented.
  • Everything is Love.
  • A balance between light and dark is what’s needed.
  • You are perfect as you are.
  • All gods are the same.

 

Well I got news for you, guys:

  • All paths are NOT equal or all people would be happy and successful. 
  • A LOT of people are completely mediocre and it’s agony to be around them. 
  • If everything was ‘love and light’ there wouldn’t be so many divorces nor would there be a need for homicide detectives.
  • You cannot have any kind of balance when you refuse to act on facing the things you’re afraid of. 
  • If everyone is perfect as they are then why are so many people drugging themselves with food, dope, booze and fantasy to escape their miserable lives?
  • There is no unity: the world is horribly dissected into pieces of pieces of pieces.

So, let me end this where I began, reaffirminig that The Gravestomper project is about liberating people from suffering. Getting them to get out there and live their lives fully.  It’s about self-actualization.

People are being crushed by guilt and shame, false teachers and the false belief that they have to sublimate their true selves to someone else’s definition of what a good person is.

The white light path will neuter you, drain you and finally, kill you.  It’s all about sucking the vitality from your life.  It’s full of platitudes, users and entitlement mentality.  If it’s yours and it sparkles they will steal it because it’s the only thing they know.

Now, I’ll ask you again:  What if it’s the “dark” that’s trying to save you, and the “light” that’s keeping you powerless and immobilized?

The Bike Path of Life

Many of you have written me and asked me: “What do you mean when you talk about living in the moment?  And what do you mean when you say that people are avoiding living by losing themselves in a fantasy?”  I’ve decided to use an analogy here to illustrate my point. 

Graveyards aren’t the only places I like to stomp. I bike ride.  A lot.  Five times a week you can find me on my mountain bike on a nearby trail  in the woods.  The path is beautiful, hilly, expansive.  It has a lot to offer—a lot of secrets.  And lot to teach.  It’s an incredible place to go and hike, jog or bike and just be in the moment.  And all moments have something to teach us if we’re present in them.  When you’re paying attention, you start to notice patterns on the bike path: types of people and their habits.  The path is like life—see?  And the hikers show you the types of people who are just letting their lives slip past them… Maybe you’ve seen these people in other areas of life.  On the road.  In the grocery store.  At work.  It’s true that these characters populate all our lives.  Which do you think you are?

The zombies:

This is by far the largest group on the path.  They stumble along, alone or in couples, completely unaware of where they are or their surroundings.  Lost in some fantasy.  They zig zag on the path in front of you and you never know what they’re going to do, because they never know what they’re going to do.  There is no purpose to their being there—they’re just there, victims of “fate” hoping something will amuse them, bless them or curse them. 

When you’re a rider you MUST announce your presence to these people otherwise they will step in front of you and get mowed down.  It’s astonishing how many are startled when you slowly ride up—you have to approach them slowly, if you clip past they will throw themselves in front of you—and gently call; “Passing on your left, please!” 

Some of them jump.  Some gasp.  Other’s grip the person next to them in fear.  On several occasions—and this is the truth I swear it—I’ve seen women, run in circles not knowing what  to do.  I’ve had to stop my bike and wait for them to decide where they wanted to go.  In one case a rather hefty woman dove for the side of the trail and fell on her face.  I have to admit, I wish I had video of that one.  It would surely take the Gravestomper blog viral.

These people are a bit of a menace to those who are out riding.  In this case their lack of being in the moment is a danger to themselves and others.  Note too that this group—like every other group on this list, will blame YOU for their lack of awareness.  And they are by far the largest group out there.

The tech-addicts:

The first in this group is just amusing.  They are the phone users.  These are the hikers who are on the path, surrounded by green, wildlife, blue skies and scented breezes but who aren’t really experiencing any of it because they have a phone stuck to their heads. They chatter loudly with friends who are also somewhere else not experiencing their surroundings.  You can pass them three or four times on the loop of the trail and they’ll still be on the phone each time.  It’s true, sometimes you’ll see them still on the phone when they hop into their cars and drive away from the forest preserve, splitting their focus in traffic for the ride home. When you see them you can’t help but wonder if they’re terrified to be alone, or if they ever enjoy any moment because they’re so conditioned to want to be somewhere else with someone else at all times.

I’ll throw the smokers in here too—inhaling deeply on their cigarettes so they don’t have to breathe in the experiences around them. No fresh air for them!  The one’s who smoke while riding bikes are the funniest.  With every pump of the pedals they decrease their breathing capacity and their ability to ride.  Sometimes they’re blue in the face and hacking up phlegm: mmmmm… sexy!

The texters fall into this category too.  And they are the most dangerous of this group.  A few weeks back. I encountered a man and his two daughters riding on the path.  The eldest of his daughters, about twelve, was texting while on her bike.  She was swooping in wild arcs across the entire width of the path, unable to control her steering because she was so focused on her phone.  Her father was unconcerned, but then, he fell into the first category: zombie.  Guess his daughter was well on her way to that category too, as I had to shout for her to wake up to keep her from crashing into me, and she was so startled when I did that she almost fell off her bike.

You do have to be careful  with all of these people because they will wander in front of you while you’re riding and, unfortunately, they’re not concerned whether or not they take you down with them.

The clan mentality:

By far the most exasperating on the path.  Families who come into the woods.  Mother.  Father.  Three or more children.  They all walk abreast of each other, completely blocking the path.  They never hear when a bike is approaching because they are too wrapped up their family drama and dynamic.  For them no one else exists.  For them there is only their clan.  For them—you are an intrusion into their space that they feel entitled to  because they are a family.  Most often you will get a dirty look from one or more member who finds your presence in the woods an imposition on their experience.

In this case: I advocate bowling.  It’s really the only way they’ll learn the world is bigger than their tiny clan.

The pet lovers:

These guys are fun and friendly, interactive and usually they are aware that you’re coming because they want to keep their pets safe.  Unfortunately some of them walk in couples or trios while use those extending leashes and set up a road block across the whole trail, in which case they are no longer pet lovers, they are clan mentality (see above).

Joggers:

They’re out every day. Even with their headphones on they know you’re coming.  They stay to the right and allow you to pass.  They never hoard the trail because they know that there are OTHER PEOPLE who are using it for MANY PURPOSES.  These guys are usually in the moment have a purpose and goals.  They are, in fact, a delight to share the trail with.

The dedicated bikers:

Like the joggers these are the ones who are out there doing.  Practicing every day or so.  Present in the moment.   We are the smallest group in the woods and the ones who have to negotiate all the others.  But we’re also the ones who get the furthest, go the fastest, and who experience the most.  We also have the firmest asses.  But that’s another blog entirely.

Law of Attraction or Law of Decay?

Back in the late 80’s I worked in a book store. At the time there was a deluge of new ’self help’ titles that were preaching the beginning of what has come to be known today as the “law of attraction“. The authors of these books swore emphatically and passionately that if you just followed your heart and did what you loved for a living, happiness would quickly follow and money would flood in afterwards like a tidal wave.
 
Now, I got my first job when I was twelve years old. I worked as a bar back in the bar where my father used to go and get drunk. To say that I had a Dickensian upbringing is a bit of an understatement. I grew up in a blue collar Chicago neighborhood where everyone hated their jobs and were miserable from 9-5 every day, and then came home at night and got drunk. By the time they were forty their bodies were shot, their mobility was limited: they were overweight and stuck and unhappy. So, when I read what these authors were saying about doing what you love, I desperately wanted to believe them. After all, I thought, they’d published books, so there had to be something to what they were saying…right?
 
I majored in creative writing and minored in dance as those were the things I loved most at the time. When I graduated I was ready for the happiness and wealth these self-help gurus had promised but ended up, instead, working in a factory that made dance clothing. I was the only one there with any kind of college degree and I was far from the highest paid individual in the joint.
 
Depressed at this outcome following five years of college, I decided what I needed was more education to make my dreams come true. So I went to graduate school and got an MFA in creative writing. During that time I sold some stories to national magazines, did some freelance writing for corporations, wrote a kids book for a New York publisher, tutored writing students and then, finally, ended up a writing teacher at three different Chicago Colleges/Universities. I thought my problems would be over but in all that time I never made more money than I did working in the factory, nor did I see any of the success that was promised by those new age gurus who told me that if I just followed my passion I would succeed and succeed big.
 
Once, when I was teaching at Loyola University, one of the top Universities in Chicago, I asked the English department chair if I had any future as a teacher at Loyola. His blunt response to me was: “What else do you know how to do?” I was devastated that I had spent ten years of my life educating myself to wind up at a dead end.
 
After eight years of teaching college, I finally decided I didn’t want to be poor, underappreciated or overworked any longer and I quit teaching to pursue other interests. It took me a few years to begin to get my life on track again because I was still clinging to the belief that if I just did what I was passionate about I would be successful.
 
In the middle of this I learned about sales, entrepreneurialism and about a Tibetan doctrine about kingdom building that the ancient BÖn used to build the silk road. Studying these things confirmed something that direct experience had taught me years before. The Law of Attraction is merely an advocation of self indulgence. The truth of the matter is: If you wish to be successful you must first conceive of a vision that is bigger than yourself and your own desires. It must be big enough to include other people. Big enough for them to find a place in it. Otherwise you will never find success no matter how passionate you are, no matter how badly you need to express yourself, or how much talent you have. Desire alone never brings success. In fact, the more desire you invest in a thing, the more likely that thing will elude you.
I always think of this LOA movement as a four hour long sex session that your partner skips out on before you orgasm. When it’s over you’re left chafed and frustrated and alone–wondering why you wasted all the energy to begin with when with a little effort you could have just taken care of yourself.

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

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