Why ‘Light and Love’ Will Suck You Dry and Steal Your Soul

Yesterday I posted a tweet on Twitter and Facebook that caused quite a stir.  Some of you saw it and responded appreciatively.  Others tried to throw stones at it with weak arguments and platitudes.  In fact, I don’t know that I’ve ever gotten so much response from a tweet before.  It was: What if it’s the “dark” that’s trying to save you, and the “light” that’s keeping you powerless and immobilized?

Of those who tried to derail the concept there was a particular white-lighter who tried to take some sort of moral high ground and steal the Gravestomper’s authority for her own.  She responded to my statement by tweeting: “Life is rarely so clearly delineated. Balance must be found.”

It’s key that you pay attention here.  This is very important.  On the surface this looks benign.  Even “good” or “wise”.  After all, the New Age has been telling us for years now how we all need to be balanced.  Balance is good, isn’t it?  We all need to be in balance don’t we?  And for most of us that sounds like a great thing.  We have so much work, so much responsibility, so much fear in our lives that to balance it all with some laughter, fun, and joy would be a nice change. 

But what keeps us from having that actual balance? 

I’ll tell you.  It’s the white-light mentality. The one that tells us all paths are the same and they all lead us, in the end, to love.  The one that starts with us being “good people”.   The one which is waiting there for us to chastise us every time we have an “impure”, “wrathful” or “unbalanced” thought.  The one that  teaches us to give our personal power away to guilt and shame.  That tries to keep everyone of us in line each and every time we assert our true, active selves and our creativity.  It masks itself as liberated, free and enlightened but in actuality it is as bound, ignorant and manipulative as the religion of our parents.

That in mind, let’s take a good look our white-lighter’s statement: “Life is rarely so clearly delineated. Balance must be found.”

What does this really mean?  That word ‘Balance’ is what we, in hypnosis, call a Nominalization.  It’s a word that has no meaning but the one the listener assigns to it.  Nominalizations are building blocks of something we call ‘Guru Speak’.  It’s a hypnotic language that the few really popular Gurus, White-lighters and “Secret” folks use to get followers.  They use words and phrases that have no concrete, practical meaning to create trance states and feelings of longing and incompleteness that they then take advantage of. 

On the surface what they say sounds good because it’s usually tied to something that suggests being a “good person”.  And everyone wants to be a good person, right?  But when you start to look more closely at anything they say you begin to see that their statements are actually hollow.  The only meaning that can be derived from any of their words are those that the audience assigns to them. 

They consistently use words like Love.  Balance.  Healing.  Wholeness. Oneness.  Nature. Consciousness. Purity. Source. Godhead. None of those words really mean anything until you assign your personal experiences to them.  Then they sound terribly profound.  And whenever you ask one of these guys what any of those words actually means, they turn it around on you by saying: “What do YOU think it means? 

Why do they do that? Because they know what they are saying means nothing and if they turn it back on you, you will A) feel insecure that you don’t have the enlightened answers they do and B) you will drag an appropriate desire or wound from your life and attach it to the word, find personal meaning in it, and then beg them for more of their wisdom.  It’s a win-win situation for them

See, the reason that white-lighter chose to toss her comment about balance at me wasn’t because she wanted to open up a dialogue.  Her response had little to do with knowledge or wisdom.  It was an attempt to chastise me for taking a stand. 

My statement was clear: What if it’s the “dark” that’s trying to save you, and the “light” that’s keeping you powerless and immobilized?  The ‘light’ here means: the white-light mentality.  While ‘dark’ indicates those of us who are advocating facing fears, taking action, and wrath when necessary.  Her response was an attempt to nullify the concept I put out there because it incited a change in view.  A challenge.  A dare.  Fact is—people were excited by my statement.  They were tantalized, intrigued and even a bit titillated to think that maybe plunging into the darker parts of themselves, their thoughts and their lives could set them free from suffering. 

But white-lighters are uncomfortable with such assertions.  They are uncomfortable with people who take action.  Who challenge others.  Who encourage people to face their fears.  Who support people who get out there and go after their dreams.  Who assert anything but love and sitting immobilized on a cushion. 

Why? Because when you are immobilized on a cushion you can’t rise up against them.  When they are standing above you and your eyes are closed they own you.  When you believe that everything is supposed to be love you castrate yourself with guilt every time you want to crush one of these love-and-light manipulators to dust. And if action, self-actualization, risk and true wisdom based on direct experience are the codes that people are living by then they will have to actually learn how to do something of value.  And that is the last thing any of them want to do.  Because—and they know this—they are empty insideTheir words are empty.  Their actions are empty.  Their wealth is empty and their wisdom is empty.

So when this white-lighter saw the statement I posted was wrathful, risky and a bit frightening she tossed one of the accepted nominalizations at me in an attempt to nullify it, thereby justifying her discomfort with the concept.  “Life is rarely so clearly delineated. Balance must be found,” she said. And that way she sounded like a good person, wise and poised.  After all, who would dare disagree with that? It’s Balance after all.  Right?  Wrong.  Because there is no potency that follows a statement such as hers.  Only flaccid self-analysis.

When I refused to accept her reality she did what these white-lighters always do. And I will tell you this now, so that you can recognize it when they do it to you.  They have some common responses they use when you challenge them and begin to show that their words are meaningless, their actions reprehensible, their philosophies barbaric and insane.  They will:

1)    Say that you are twisting and skewing their words, suggesting that they possess the pure, good and objective truth and you are a Devil who is using some form of evil magic to distort that truth.   They’ll forget that they are the ones choosing their own words, but since they refuse to take responsibility for their lives they are, of course, going to blame YOU for their lack of coherency.

2)    Try to give you parental scolding when you assert yourself confidently.  When you refuse to be submissive they will suggest that you “expect people to follow you blindly without questioning your will.”  What they always fail to realize, however, is that it was really your refusal to accept their attempts to control your will that they found so distasteful to begin with.

3)    Suggest they possess the true Dharma or teachings and you just are too wicked to recognize it.

4)    Accuse you of being selfish for wanting to live a successful, active, profitable and fully actualized life.  If you were pure you would be poor and sitting on a meditation cushion emitting love for all beings. 

5)    Try to inflict guilt on you by suggesting that their lack of success comes from a bad bit of luck.  Meanwhile they try to bind you to them by teaching you that “good people” give everything they’ve got to those less fortunate.

6)    Inflict their dysfunction on you, undermine you and give you criticism aimed at shaking your self-confidence all the while talking about how “All is Love”. They will justify their shitty behavior by saying things like: “I’m opinionated.  You’re just going to have to deal with it.” Assuming that you will be bound by the code of being a “good person” who wouldn’t dare say anything unkind to another who is just expressing her free will.  But you do NOT have to deal with it.  In fact, it is your right to throw their dysfunction back on them and let them see the horrible monsters they really are.  When you do this, they will show their true colors by trying to “teach you a lesson”.  Because they are really cowards, they will enlist their friends to try and destroy you. (This particular white lighter began asking her twitter friends if they’d like to show up on my door step and teach me what Dark really meant.  She asserted that they could be the true champions of White Light when they finally destroyed me.  In the end, she dissolved into a public puddle of her own victimhood.)

7)    Tell you there is no such thing as evil in one breath, while paradoxically telling you in the next to embrace only ‘love and light’ so that they can feed, unfettered, on you and your resources.

8)    Teach you the dark is “evil” because they know in it lies the secrets that will release you from their constant control over you.

The white-lighter attempted to drive me thru guilt and shame.  The guilt and shame of forgetting to include the importance of being a “good person” in my statement. 

Why is that so powerful an attack?  Because we have all been instilled with the guilt inducing victimhood of or parents religions which taught us if we were not good we would be punished.  If we talked back to our parents we would be slapped in the mouth.  If we touched ourselves we would get sick. If we fucked who we chose to fuck when and how we chose to fuck them we would be struck down by an angry god.  If we did not go to school we would be homeless.  If we did not lash ourselves to those poor unfortunates who were victims of cruel fate and take care of them wholly we would spend an eternally frying in hell. If we did what we were talented at rather than working a job we hated like everyone else we were selfish.

The true underlying  philosophy of the white lighter can be summed up succinctly in one statement: “How come you?”

  • How come you get to be out there stomping while I’m sick and poor?
  • How come you get to be exploring your dark and exciting side when I have to be a good person?
  • How come you get to adore your work while I have to work a job I hate to make ends meet?
  • How come you get people to listen to you but no one listens to me?
  • How come you’re happy but I’m not?

 

And you know what the common, underlying theme is in all of these statements?  Entitlement.  They feel that just because they show up to the party they get to be the belle of the ball.  That everyone should flock to them, appreciate, cherish and respect them just because they are here and they tell everyone in a hundred different ways what good people they are.  Their philosophy is sick with this sort of bullshit:

  • All paths are equal.
  • Everyone is special and talented.
  • Everything is Love.
  • A balance between light and dark is what’s needed.
  • You are perfect as you are.
  • All gods are the same.

 

Well I got news for you, guys:

  • All paths are NOT equal or all people would be happy and successful. 
  • A LOT of people are completely mediocre and it’s agony to be around them. 
  • If everything was ‘love and light’ there wouldn’t be so many divorces nor would there be a need for homicide detectives.
  • You cannot have any kind of balance when you refuse to act on facing the things you’re afraid of. 
  • If everyone is perfect as they are then why are so many people drugging themselves with food, dope, booze and fantasy to escape their miserable lives?
  • There is no unity: the world is horribly dissected into pieces of pieces of pieces.

So, let me end this where I began, reaffirminig that The Gravestomper project is about liberating people from suffering. Getting them to get out there and live their lives fully.  It’s about self-actualization.

People are being crushed by guilt and shame, false teachers and the false belief that they have to sublimate their true selves to someone else’s definition of what a good person is.

The white light path will neuter you, drain you and finally, kill you.  It’s all about sucking the vitality from your life.  It’s full of platitudes, users and entitlement mentality.  If it’s yours and it sparkles they will steal it because it’s the only thing they know.

Now, I’ll ask you again:  What if it’s the “dark” that’s trying to save you, and the “light” that’s keeping you powerless and immobilized?

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Happy easter.

 

Stockholm Syndrome: “A term used to describe a paradoxical psychological phenomenon wherein hostages express adulation and have positive feelings towards their captors” –Wikipedia

This syndrome develops when the following four conditions are present.  It can develop in any relationship where these factors are present between an abuser and a victim:  terrorist/hostage; parent/child; lovers; teacher/student; government/subjects; religion/ followers.

  1. The victim believes he’s in danger.  Weather from an implied or stated threat by the abuser.  The victim also believes that the abuser will carry it out.  This threat is usually accompanied by a prescribed code of behavior that the victim must abide by that determines the level of punishment at the hands of his abuser.  Examples: if you do not prescribe to our group’s code of morality we will humiliate and ostracize you.  Or, if my dinner is not hot, to my liking and on the table when I get home, I will throw it against the wall and make you clean it up right in front of the children.  
  2.  Small kindnesses from the abuser that make the victim believe the abuser’s really not all that bad and  that there is a possibility the situation will get better.  These momentary kindnesses also act as a carrot on a stick that make the victim believe there’s a way to finally win the approval of the abuser.  Examples: the sacrament of penance in which the priest forgives the sinner.  Or, the alcoholic/abusive father who pays for his sons college.  Or, the jealous boyfriend who buys his lover jewelry after hitting her.
  3. Isolation from all outside influence other than that of the abuser.  Example: Everyone outside your religion is out to get you and lead you into shame and eternal suffering.  We are the only chosen people.  Or: if you go out with your friends I will harm them.
  4. The victim really believes there’s nowhere else for him to go. Example: if I leave my religion I will have bad luck for the rest of my life and then go to hell. 

 

We were told we were sinners and that we should be punished.  No amount of “God’s love” or forgiveness nor promise of happiness in the hereafter could ever change that fact.  We were inherently evil we were told.  And we deserved to be punished.  The “One Catholic God” was our father, they said.  And they were his representatives.  To question them meant suffering greater than we could possibly fathom with our tiny minds.  We were in essence, taught, to shut up and take it.  Or else.  We were told this from the time we were infants and dunked into water to wash all the evil away.  Evidently it didn’t take.  Because we were still to be punished daily in school and when we went home to our parents.  The threat was clear to me when I  was seven and ran away from school and they dragged me back and beat me for it.  The brilliance of that one act was lost on them.  The effects of the deed were too precise for words: an arabesque of abuse expertly executed.  In that one act they’d achieved all four steps of the Stockholm Syndrome.  The threat, the isolation, the belief there was nowhere for me to go where they wouldn’t find me and bring me back was sealed: all by age seven.  The kindness came when they stopped beating me and allowed me to live.  Swell bunch of fuckers they were.

Broken by seven I had nine more years within their organization, each one punctuated by their yearly tribute to punishment: easter.  Every ‘good” Friday they would drag us kids into the church and show us something called stations of the cross.  If anyone else carried out such a public performance they’d be arrested for pornography.  Subjecting children to a snuff play.

There they forced us to watch over and over again the abuse, torture and murder of a man.  They called it beautiful. They called it glorious.  They told us it would be our greatest honor to follow in his footsteps.  All of their saints had been murdered brutally too.  Didn’t we want to be saints?  Meanwhile the pastor who was rubbing our faces in this threat was fucking my classmates behind the altar.  No one found out about it until we were all adults. 

Didn’t I want to be an altar boy my parents asked me.  “No.  Never.”

Meanwhile their Pope—unbeknownst to us followers–was beating himself daily with a belt and  covering up little boy rape.

By the time I was in my teens I got my courage back and  tried to run away again.  My father physically stopped me and threatened to have my friends arrested, further reinforcing the isolation while adding a threat to the safety of my loved ones.

He’d also done a good job raising me to believe I needed him to survive.  “You?  Make a living?  No way.” He told me repeatedly from the time I was in junior high.  “You don’t know how to do anything.  You’ll starve. And then you’ll come crawling back to me begging and grateful for what I’ve given you.”

Within the next few months I was broken again, and I settled into my life, numb.  I began defending my family and its religion.  I didn’t know why.  They treated me like shit but I didn’t know there was anywhere else to go. The fear of bad luck and poverty and suffering if I left was consuming.  Until the day I realized my life had been nothing but suffering and bad luck and what did I really have to lose.  By 29 I got far enough away from them to get some perspective on it all.

At 33 I left them and I never looked back.  It took a few years to begin to get myself on track, but by then my luck started to improve, tremendously.  I began to find successes I never could have had in that environment.

I know there are others out there who’ve been through this.  Maybe this won’t hit you now but someday you’ll get a little bit of distance and then, in that quiet moment, I want you to ask yourself: What do you really have to lose?  Your suffering? Your identity as the victim?  There is more.  So much more.

Happy easter is the most absurd phrase I’ve ever heard.  It’s a secret message those with Stockholm Syndrome give each other.  “Yes—life sucks.  Yes, I’ve been fucked and abused and beaten and broken.  And for some strange reason, I’m happy about it.”

Happy images from a recent gravestomp thru a Catholic cemetery

People who are grieving the death of loved ones come upon this painting and believe its beautiful art.

The caption on the window stated that she chose this fate to having sex and she was blessed for it.